


Clicks into Place

by adelaide_rain



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Agoraphobic spacer Shepard, Alternate Universe - College/University, Coffee Shops, Cute biotic barista Kaidan, M/M, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelaide_rain/pseuds/adelaide_rain
Summary: Shepard's just begun his first year at the Alliance Navy Military College in Vancouver, ready to focus on his studies and wow his instructors. There's no time for distractions - until he meets a cute biotic barista.





	Clicks into Place

Planets are weird, Shepard thinks, as anxiety taps jittery fingers against his throat.

He was born on Arcturus and he’s stayed in space most of his life, going with his parents from one posting to another. He’s used to the endless blackness of space, or the tight grey confines of a ship; the hum of engines and the voices of soldiers through bulkheads. For eighteen years, that’s been his life.

Now he’s on Earth, studying at the Military College just outside Vancouver. He worked his ass off to get here, knowing that learning from shipboard vids would put him at a distinct disadvantage compared to most of the applicants, but he _did_ it. He’s proud as hell, but…

This place, it’s supposed to be his homeworld, but nothing about it feels like home. It feels – odd, off, a tingling sense of something not quite right. The very ground feels strange beneath his feet. Too real, too solid, gravity tugging too hard. It’s better on campus, at least, more like what he’s used to. Being surrounded by other cadetsin cramped spaces, subject to rigorous schedules and training – that reminds him of shipboard life, enough to keep him anchored and enough to keep the anxiety at bay.

But here in the city, it’s different.

This is their first day of liberty, and the rest of his roommates have gone to the beach. Shepard declined their invitation; he needs some time alone to recharge and adjust. He’s only been here three weeks and he’s sure he’ll get used to it, but right now, the world is too wide for him, a fact he doesn’t want the other cadets to know.

He’s spent the morning wandering the streets of Vancouver, nestled in the crush of downtown. It still doesn’t feel right, but having buildings on all sides, towering over him makes him feel like he could be on a large station, Arcturus, maybe. The solidness of the ground is strange, and the sky makes him a little breathless, but it’s manageable. Worse by far is the glimpses of mountains and the sea between the buildings; it makes him want to run and hide somewhere small and safe. He’s making his way to the harbour, determined to face his fears. He’s taking the longest and most circuitous route possible, but he’s going to do it. He is.

First, though: lunch. He ducks into a restaurant, a small and dingy burger joint, and resolutely refuses to admit that he’s avoiding anything. The food, at least, is better than anything aboard ship, or at the College for that matter. He gets fries and a burger piled high with cheese and onions and pickles and mushrooms, the like of which he’s only ever seen in vids, and sits in the furthest corner of the restaurant with his back to the windows. The food is good, damned good, but when he’s almost done, he admits to himself that he’s hiding.

Eating the last of his fries and wiping his mouth, he stands, ignoring the way his hands are shaking.

He’s not a coward. He’s going to do this.

Dumping his trash and going outside, he heads straight to the harbour. The tallest of the buildings fall behind him and the streets widen, opening up to reveal the view.

He stops dead, his pulse racing.

It’s so – open. Big. Expansive. But solid at the same time, nothing like looking out at the empty vacuum of space. It’s fucking _terrifying_.

Clenching his jaw, he breathes in deep, lets it out slowly. He’s going to be a Marine, damn it; a little intimidation isn’t going to stop him.

Another breath and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans so he can’t feel them shake.

He’s doing this.

Ignoring the adrenaline screaming at him to run away, to run back into the safety of the city, he crosses the road and walks as far as he can down the harbour. His steps slow but he doesn’t stop, not until he reaches the barrier that snakes around the perimeter. Leaning on it, he looks down at the water lapping against the harbour, and takes in another deep breath before looking up at the mountains, at the clouds stacked up behind them and threatening to spill over the peaks.

It’s beautiful, he tells himself stubbornly. He’s seen places like this in vids all his life, seen this exact place on the extranet when he was researching the College. It’s not like he’s facing the unknown, like he might after he graduates, exploring unknown worlds inhabited by unknowable lifeforms.

It _is_ beautiful – but he’s still terrified.

Breathe, he tells himself. Breathe.

Wrapping his hands around the top of the barrier, staring out at the mountains, he breathes, in and out, deep and steady. He can do this. He can.

“Hey,” someone says, and Shepard is jerked from his mounting panic. Feeling dazed, he looks over his shoulder to see who spoke, and sees a gorgeous guy with a mop of curls on top of his head, shaved short at the sides. His dark brows are pulled into a frown. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m-” Shepard swallows, feeling a little faint, but he forces himself to nod. “I’m fine.”

“You sure? Look – can I get you something? A cup of tea, maybe, or a brownie? Something with sugar in it.”

“Sugar?”

“You know, to make you feel better. On the house.”

“The house?” Shepard asks, feeling very dim.

The guy hitches a thumb over his shoulder. “I work at the coffee shop, I’ve been watching you and – I’ve been kinda worried you were going to faint, to be honest.”

Shepard rubs his eyes, feeling like an idiot. “Do I really look that bad?”

“It’s not – you look great, really great, but-” the guy says, then his eyes widen and he looks away. “I mean – look, just sit down for a while, okay? Before I embarrass myself anymore?”

A small smile tugs at Shepard’s lips, and after a moment, he nods. “Okay, fine. For you.”

As they step into the coffee shop, Shepard realises he does feel better. Talking to someone has taken his mind off himself, and overthinking has always been one of his worst habits.

The guy gestures at an empty armchair near the window, and Shepard takes it. Glancing out of the window, he thinks that this is a good compromise between hiding and making himself face everything all at once.

“What can I get for you?”

“Tea. Milky. And something sugary, like you said.” He reaches for his wallet, and the guy shakes his head.

“I told you, it’s on the house. Don’t worry about it.” Shepard would argue, but the guy turns to the counter before he can, and Shepard’s eyes drop to his ass. It’s very nice, very distracting, clad in tight jeans as it is. The thighs aren’t bad either. Almost distracting enough that Shepard doesn’t notice the scarring at the back of his neck, and the glint of metal just visible beneath the hair.

Without meaning to, Shepard’s hand goes to the base of his skull, to his own implant, because that’s what it is – the guy’s a biotic. Shepard doesn’t have the scarring, god knows what hack did the guy's surgery, but there’s no doubt about it. Shepard feels a lurch of excitement. Human biotics are rare. Even at the College, where the military incentives attract an unusual number of biotics, there are only six others, and Shepard doesn’t like any of them that much.

They're all kind of weird - either stuck up because they think they're better than everyone else, or they avoid people because they've been treated so badly. Shepard's been lucky, he knows; he was only identified when he was older, and apart from a few people acting uncomfortable around him, he hasn't had to deal with much in the way of negative reactions.

What's this guy's story, Shepard wonders. He looks like he maybe has a few years on Shepard; might even be one of the first wave of human biotics. That might explain the scars - back in the early days, no-one knew what the hell they were doing but did it anyway. Shepard read about it before his own implant surgery - about kids implanted with L1s, undergoing experimental surgery for basically no benefit. Then the L2s, whose implants drastically amplified their biotics but with a high risk of horrific side effects. The L3s, the brochures assured him, were improved in every way, safer than anything that came before them; but when what came before included inducing psychosis and catastrophic brain damage, _safer_ was relative. Shepard had been terrified, but he's always been stubborn, whether it's about brain surgery or looking at wide open spaces.

"Here you go," the guy says, returning with a tray in his hands. "I put the milk on the side so you can add as much as you like, and here's a brownie for the sugar." He sets the tray down on the table before Shepard, and studies him for a moment. "You're looking a bit better."

"Feeling better." He pauses, then without quite planning on it says, "You're a biotic."

The guy give him a look and raises an eyebrow. "So are you."

Shepard blinks at him, and puts a hand to the back of his neck, to cover his implant. "You saw-"

"I _felt_ ," the guy says, and shifts his weight. "You can't feel me?"

 _I'd like to,_ Shepard almost says, but manages to rein it in. "What do you mean?"

"My biotics," he says. "Even without me actively using them, you should be able to feel them."

"I-" Shepard stops, then shrugs. "Honestly, I'm - I'm pretty new to this. I only got my implant fourteen months ago, and I've not had much training."

The guy nods, looking thoughtful, then reaches towards Shepard, not quite touching the back of his hand, and-

 _Oh_.

Shepard feels it. A - thrum, a pleasant vibration, like a cat's purr. It feels a little like when he summons his own barrier but not quite - it's different, a - a different frequency, or- It's hard to describe, Shepard's not sure the words exist for it in English. It feels like their biotics would work well together, that they’d be compatible. Harmonic, maybe.

"That's - uh. Kinda nice."

The guy grins at him. "It is, isn't it? You've not been around many biotics?"

Shepard shakes his head. "There's a few others at the Military College, and I've met a couple of asari, but I've not really been this close to another biotic before." He meets the guy's eyes - he has pretty eyes, brown with flecks of gold. He makes Shepard feel - calm. Content. Things he wants to feel more of. He smiles, and the guy smiles back, dropping his hand so they are touching, the warmth of skin on skin adding something ephemeral but lovely to the way their biotics brush up against each other.

"Kaidan!"

The guy turns, to see that a line is snaking back to the door, and the woman behind the counter is looking frazzled.

"Just a sec!" He calls, then turns back to Shepard. "Hey, I finish in an hour if you - if you maybe wanted to do something. Together."

"I'd like that."

The guy - Kaidan - smiles at him, then hurries back to work. Shepard watches him for a moment before turning to look out at the view. It still makes nerves squirm in his stomach, but it's better, and he's not even touched the brownie. Maybe what he _really_ needed was to talk to a cute biotic barista.

He takes his time over his tea and brownie, and pulls up the notes for his engineering class on his omni-tool to give him something to concentrate on other than the mountains.

By the time he's done Kaidan is approaching, a jacket pulled on over his tee and a shy smile on his face.

"You still want to do something?"

“Definitely. It’s not every day I meet a cute biotic barista.”

Kaidan laughs and he shakes his head, but he can’t seem to stop smiling. Shepard’s glad; he’s extra cute when he smiles. 

“That’s a _really_ cheesy line.”

“I’m just telling the truth.” Kaidan shakes his head again, but he’s still battling a smile. “I’m Shepard, by the way.”

“I think I’m very pleased to meet you, Shepard. I’m Kaidan.”

They step outside. Shepard forces himself to look at the view. The nerves that rise up are more about the fear of a panic attack than about the openness, though there's still a shadow of that wallowing in the pit of his stomach.

"Hell of a view, isn't it?" Kaidan says, a soft smile on his face as he gazes out over the water, towards the mountains. "Don't think I'll ever get tired of it."

Trying to ignore the jangling of his nerves, Shepard asks, "Are you from around here?"

"Yeah. Mostly, anyway. I was born in Singapore but my parents moved here when I was tiny - my dad's from BC. What about you?"

"I'm a spacer. Born on Arcturus and barely stepped foot on a planet."

Kaidan looks at him then, something like understanding dawning in his eyes. "This must be pretty intense, then."

Shepard nods.

"I was going to suggest we walk the sea wall but maybe we should leave that for another time."

Shepard grins, unable to help himself. "You already planning on a second date, Kaidan?"

Kaidan laughs and bows his head, a pale blush colouring his cheeks. "You know, giving me one compliment doesn’t make this a date."

“I can give you another, if you like. I’ve got a whole stack of them,” Shepard says, enjoying the flirting – it’s a nice distraction, and every word is true. 

“Maybe later,” Kaidan says. “And for what it’s worth? You’re pretty cute too.” 

Since Kaidan's a local, Shepard lets him take the lead. They explore some of the older parts of downtown, places Shepard missed on his lonesome wanderings. As they walk, they talk; about where they grew up, about their families.

Kaidan tells him about studying at SFU, that he's graduating next year and thinking about signing up with the Alliance; Shepard tells him about shipboard life, how he’s wanted to join up since he was a kid.

"I even stole my dad's uniform once. Might've worked better if I hadn't been twelve at the time."

Kaidan laughs. "I'm sure you looked adorable."

"Suits me better now."

"I'll bet," Kaidan says, and there's something in his eyes or maybe the way his voice deepens that makes Shepard swallow.

"You like a man in uniform, Kaidan?"

Biting his lip, Kaidan looks at him. "I might, Shepard. You'll have to let me see you in it sometime. Let me judge for myself."

Waggling his eyebrows, Shepard says, “And here I was hoping you might want to see me _out_ of uniform.”

"Not on a first date, Shepard."

Looking at him out of the corner of his eye, Shepard grins. "So you admit this is a date, then?"

Kaidan smiles, then bumps his shoulder against Shepard’s. "I guess so."

They head to a mall and find a spot high enough to watch the skycars zooming between the buildings. Shepard finds himself increasingly distracted by Kaidan - his smile, his eyes, the freckles above his eyebrow - but eventually he realises that he hasn't seen even a hint of the sea or the mountains for a good few hours. When he mentions it, Kaidan bites his lip.

"I wanted you to feel safe.”

Shepard straightens up and frowns at him; Kaidan’s still very obviously not looking at him. Shepard feels – annoyed. Grateful. For a moment neither one of them win out, but then Kaidan glances at him, those pretty brown eyes meeting his, and Shepard slides towards gratitude. It’s not _just_ because he finds Kaidan ridiculously attractive, but he’ll admit that’s part of it.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, and sighs, leaning on the barrier and watching a silver skycar weave through the traffic. “I’ve been trying to hide it. I don’t want the other cadets to know. And to be honest, by the time we’re done with the day, after classes and training and studying, I’m too tired to even notice. But being down at the harbour, seeing it all just-“ He gestures vaguely, _“-there_ was- I don’t know. A lot. Too much. Dumb, I know.”

“It’s not dumb,” Kaidan says, and when Shepard turns his head, he sees that Kaidan is looking at him, his gaze soft and understanding. “When I went offworld for the first time, it was – well, terrifying, to be honest. Looking out of the windows and seeing nothing but blackness, nothing solid _anywhere_. And the station felt so flimsy – nothing but a hull between me and the vacuum of space. I had a few panic attacks, too. I figure you’re going through something similar. In the other direction, maybe, but similar.”

 _He gets it,_ Shepard thinks, and relief floods him. He’d read on the extranet about people experiencing similar feelings, but hearing someone say it in person makes so much difference.

“The gravity, too,” Shepard says, and Kaidan nods eagerly.

“Exactly! Even though the station was supposed to have Earth gravity, it wasn’t the same.”

“Like something’s off, just slightly, but enough to notice.”

“And it just weirds you out, right?”

“Yeah,” Shepard says, then gives a relieved laugh, back bowing. “It feels so good to talk to someone about this. Someone who understands.”

“I do, Shepard. And for what it’s worth, I got used to it after about a month. How long have you been here?”

“Three weeks.”

“There you go, then.”

Another week or two – Shepard can handle that. That’s doable. He looks at Kaidan and smiles. “Thank you. For telling me that. It really helps.”

“Anytime, Shepard.”

They stay there a while longer, watching the traffic, then Shepard straightens, stretching his arms above his head and shifting to ease the crick in his back. He catches Kaidan staring at the stripe of bare skin where his t-shirt lifts, watches him swallow – he clearly likes what he sees. Shepard feels an answering surge of want, and throws him a flirtatious grin, but it’s more sincere than before.

Kaidan’s clearly gorgeous, and since first laying eyes on him, Shepard wanted to have all kinds of fun with him. But now, after talking to him, after sharing a little of themselves with each other, Shepard’s a little startled by how much he likes him. He still wants to kiss him – he very much wants to kiss him – but he wants more than that. He wants to get to know him – and he wants Kaidan to know him, too, really know him, even those parts of himself he always keeps at a distance, the vulnerable things he always keeps close and safe.

The thought is startling, and a little scary.

It’s a little exciting, too, and it’s something he wants to explore.

“How about we go get something to eat, make this a real date?” The words come easily enough, but Shepard’s heartbeat is thudding in his throat. It’s made worse when Kaidan doesn’t answer right away, looking at him, considering. But then he gives a warm smile and nods.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

They go to a Middle Eastern place in the basement of one of the older buildings in Gastown. At first Shepard wondered if Kaidan brought him to this place with no hint of sea or sky out of pity, and is on the verge of getting annoyed, until he has his first bite of food.

“This is so good!”

Kaidan grins at him. “This is one of my favourite places. And I remember what food was like on-station. If that’s what you’ve been eating all your life, you’ve got a lot to look forward to.”

Shepard makes an appreciative noise and concentrates on eating, on enjoying every mouthful. “You should make a list of places to eat,” he says, then looks up. Kaidan is smiling at him – maybe a little amused by Shepard scarfing down his appetiser, but he looks fond. Affectionate. Sweet things that make the butterflies in Shepard’s belly flap their wings. Shepard smiles back and adds, “We can start working through them on our next date.”

“Oh? Are you asking me out properly this time?”

“Yeah, I am.” Shepard pauses, then reaches across the table to take Kaidan’s hand. The warmth of his skin and the thrum of their biotics feel good, but not nearly as good as when Kaidan interlaces their fingers and smiles softly.

“I’d like that, Shepard. A lot.”

They pull apart when the server comes to take their plates, but when he’s gone, Kaidan takes Shepard’s hand again.

The rest of the meal is every bit as good as the appetiser. Dessert is _so_ good that Shepard moans blissfully. Kaidan starts laughing and asks if he should be jealous.

“You should view it as a challenge,” Shepard says between mouthfuls. “Make me feel as good as this – what was it called?”

“Baklava. And I’ll accept that challenge,” Kaidan says, and the look in his eyes is enough to distract Shepard from the honey-soaked pastries on his plate. “On our third date,” he adds with a grin, stealing one of Shepard’s baklavas and then licking the honey off his fingers, making a show of it that makes Shepard feel hot all over. “I’m a traditional kind of guy.”

“You’re a goddamn tease,” Shepard says.

Kaidan smiles.

After they settle the bill, Shepard insists on walking down to the harbour before he catches his shuttle.

“You don’t have to prove anything, you know,” Kaidan says when Shepard’s steps slow as they approach the harbour.

“I know,” Shepard says. “I just – I don’t know. I hate feeling like this.” Seeing the view spread out before makes him aware of everything all over again. The gravity and the strange solidness of the ground, the distant arc of the sky as it darkens to purple, of the dark and almost ominous silhouettes of the mountains. His chest feels tight, his heart races-

Kaidan takes his hand.

And the fear ebbs away.

It’s still uncomfortable, but it’s not overwhelming any more. The touch gives him something else to concentrate on, something to anchor him. Shepard turns to look at him, and blurts,

“I really like you.”

Kaidan smiles and says, “I really like you too.” His eyes drop to Shepard’s lips, and Shepard thinks _yes_.

He leans in, and so does Kaidan, and then they’re kissing. Softly, little more than a brush of lips on lips, but there's a spark there that has nothing to do with biotics. Another kiss, still soft, still sweet, but the next one has a touch of teeth, Kaidan biting Shepard's lip gently. It makes Shepard's want bloom and he draws in a breath, sliding a hand to Kaidan's neck and pulling him closer. He presses his tongue into Kaidan's mouth, Kaidan's hand goes to Shepard's ass, and _god_ -

Shepard wants more, he wants everything, but they're in public and getting arrested for public indecency would _not_ look good on his college record.

So he kisses Kaidan one last, lingering time, then pulls back to rest their foreheads together. He closes his eyes, enjoys the feeling of their biotics humming against each other.

"Shepard," Kaidan sighs, and puts a hand to his hip, thumb ducking under his hem to stroke his skin. It makes Shepard shiver and steal another kiss. "This wasn't exactly how I'd planned to spend my Saturday."

"Oh? Hope I'm not too much of a distraction."

"Maybe, but I can’t say I mind. This is _much_ better than working on an essay."

They stand there, close together, hands around each other’s waist. This time when Shepard looks out at the sunset, there’s barely even a twinge of anxiety – having Kaidan so close to him is taking up all of his attention. The warmth of his body, the constant thrum of his biotics, even the coconut scent of his hair. The way his eyes look like liquid copper in the setting sun, the rasp of his stubble when Shepard runs his thumb over his jaw. Kaidan leans into his touch, smiling, and Shepard really, really doesn’t want to go, but the beeping reminder of his omni-tool tells him he has to. He dismisses it with a sigh.

“Time to go?” Kaidan asks, and Shepard nods.

“Can’t get away with playing hooky at Military College.”

Kaidan _hmms_ and kisses him again before stepping back. “I’ll walk you to your stop.”

They walk hand in hand, and by the time they get there, it’s full dark and a little chilly. Shepard’s shuttle is already in the bay, idling while the driver takes a break. It means that they have time for a goodbye kiss, one that they try to keep chaste but it's a battle they quickly lose.

“Next time,” Kaidan says, drawing in a breath that hitches when Shepard runs a hand over his ass. “Next time, we’re doing a lot more of this.”

“Agreed,” Shepard says, and then steals one last kiss when he sees the driver get back on the shuttle. “I’ll see you next week?”

“Yeah.”

Shepard gets on the shuttle, taking a window seat so he can wave goodbye.

As the shuttle pulls away, Shepard settles back in his seat, smiling, and bites his lip.

It’s been a hell of a day, but the good outweighs the bad. Whatever the week brings, he’s got a date with Kaidan waiting for him at the end of it.

It's early days, and Shepard knows it’s not going to be easy. Starting a relationship at the beginning of his freshman year probably isn’t the smartest thing to do, but this feels so _right._ Kaidan makes him feel calm. At ease. All of the racing thoughts and scurrying worries quiet around him, and that is a precious thing. And yes, of course, it helps that he’s drop dead gorgeous.

It might be hard, there might be troubles, but whatever happens, Shepard’s looking forward to the journey.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been torturing me! This was the fourth rewrite and while I think it could probably do with another, I'm posting it now before it consumes my life xD In one of the earlier versions, Kaidan had sleeve tattoos (young Kaidan being more impulsive than stoic older Kaidan) that were abstract blue swirls representing his biotics which I still love the idea of. He also has Dorian's haircut from DA:I, just curlier. I've tagged it with Universe Alteration BUT I very much love fics where the ship meets when they were younger.
> 
> If you're curious about the view that Shepard's looking at, I took [a video from that very spot the last time I was in Vancouver](http://raininginadelaide.tumblr.com/post/160776531476/a-video-of-vancouver-harbour-from-last-time-i-was) (warnings for terrible camera work). 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
